My Lil Bean

I'm sorry isn't enough to relay how much I hate myself for that conversation 
I'll hold on to the thought that you are better without me and my frustration

Our conversations of our future were hollow 
Not becuase of you but because of my sorrow

I'm not built to grow old in my pool of mistakes and regret
I wish so, so bad I could just forget

I broke down and as a result broke us into a million pieces
Only to realize you were right and I'm not much more than a pile of feces

I put your memories on the pile of my mistakes and lost happiness
Some times when I let the pain out its hard to stop it from creating a bundle of craziness

You are and always will be my light
I regret every world in our last fight

When sorry is not enough to escape the horrible man that I am
I hope you see that I'm not the example of my decision to go H.A.M.

When I"m gone I hope your memory of me can remember the pure love I gave to you 
I'm sorry my lil bean that I wasn't the man you wanted to grow old with and prove it too you