Chaos

My anger fuels my stupidity into actions that limit my un-satisfaction

I’ve been down this road of pain before without key to close that door

This pain is similar to that of one instance in my life I lost my nephew now losing my fight

I don’t know why this hate trickles into aspects of unfamiliarity streaming through my veins hurting our similarities

We don’t have many but the ones we do I can’t find because I’m smothered with one foot out the door.

Tears hitting the floor, smashing into our dreams aspirations, directions, reflections are lost in them when they shatter on the tile of our story.

Words are my only outlet filling blank areas of my mind as they stream through my finger tips, grabbing my hips, quivering lips, shaking through my grips our relationship is falling through my fingertips like sand I’m trying to hold it with only more proof when I look down and see our memories piling up, through caught up fighting, swinging with the might I only know for the problems I have had in my life, each night old nightmares, fight mares, scare tactics, childish antics. Manic maneuvers don’t’ work on my fight this time, I feel like slime, lying all those years sacrificing me, for you, to do what we want all this time it’s what you want. Youth was our demon, screaming in my mind, time after time, sacrifices, rolling like dice on the curb of my youth. Now I’m lost in the darkness of my decisions, our future was us 60 years from now holding hands, helping

I just punch my way through this time in our life; I don’t understand why that isn’t right. Screams of right and wrong run through my mind as sit here quietly fending my emotions time after time

Instead I run through my problems, right or wrong I still can’t sleep our turn down this song